Joke #3051

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football!" A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says - "Touchdown, tie score!" After about five minutes the old man farts again and says - "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!" Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, - "Touchdown, tie score!" Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says - "Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14!" Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed. The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?" The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides!"
Vote:
has 77.57 % from 332 votes. More jokes about: sport

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

"Waiter, these noodles are a bit crunchy." Waiter: "That's because they're the chopsticks, sir."
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: sport
Q:Why is basketball the grossest sport there is? A:Because they dribble all over the court.
Vote:
has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: sport
I’ve got nothing against watching a darts match. I just wish my IQ were low enough to enjoy it.
Vote:
has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: sport
Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
Vote:
has 59.61 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport, wife, women
Q: What do you get when a dinosaur scores a touchdown? A: A dino-score.
Vote:
has 41.18 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dinosaur, football, sport
Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!" Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir!"
Vote:
has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: sport
Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race. Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs...
Vote:
has 75.20 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: sport
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf. Golf is an expensive way of playing marbles. Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind. Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with disappointments. The secret of good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight and not too often. There's no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies. Golf was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor players. An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging. Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count, criticize or laugh.
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: sport
Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player. How come? Every time he plays I wonder “why the fuck did I bothered to buy him”!
Vote:
has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: sport
Two alpinists on a mountain: One of them falls in a crack, the other jumps at the hole and screams after the other one: Are you hurt? Noooooo! He hears. How come? I’m still fallinnnnnnn!
Vote:
has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: sport