The best stupid jokes

Little Mathieu was digging in his garden a hole. The next door neighbor saw him and asked; "Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?" "My goldfish died, and I have to bury it." "Oh, I’m so sorry! But, isn’t that hole too big for a small goldfish?" "Indeed, it is! But my goldfish is inside your stupid cat!"
Vote: has 70.45 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, death, fish, kids, stupid
A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock. The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!"
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, communication, friendship, stupid
A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car. "235,000 miles." Her friend told her that was the problem. But the blonde's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the blond's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles. The blonde told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!"
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom – I'll show you how."
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: college, graduation, management, stupid, work
A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino's Pizza: Customer: "Yoooo I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, it's Just Bread" Domino's: "We're sorry to hear about this!" Customer (minutes later): "Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down :/"
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: customer service, food, stupid, technology, time
Yo momma so fat she thought planet earth was her stomach.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, stupid, Yo mama
Gilding the lily is a job seeker's birthright. Here are a few doozies, where the applicant claimed: - to be a former CEO of the company to which he was applying. - to be fluent in two languages—one of which was pig Latin. - to be a Nobel Prize winner. - to have worked in a jail when he was really in there serving time. - he was fired "on accident."
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, management, prison, stupid, work
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were. The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don’t even have a fridge to keep it in." The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty stupid, but says his wife is more stupid. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn’t even know how to drive!" The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every time I think of it," he chuckles, "my wife left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn’t even have a dick!"
Vote: has 69.85 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, money, stupid, wife, women
Yo mamma so stupid, when I said lets hit the dance floor, she stated hitting it.
Vote: has 69.75 % from 131 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, stupid