A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers.
She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car.
"235,000 miles."
Her friend told her that was the problem.
But the blonde's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted.
So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000.
Two days later the blond's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles.
The blonde told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!"
Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
Q: How did the blonde kill her toy poodle?
A: Trying to put batteries in it.
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Mission Statement: A long awkward sentence that demonstrates management's inability to think clearly.
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A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino's Pizza:
Customer: "Yoooo I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, it's Just Bread"
Domino's: "We're sorry to hear about this!"
Customer (minutes later): "Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down :/"
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Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
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Yo mama so stupid that when she turned on airplane mode...
She thought she could fly.
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I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths.
"I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
A little girl took her report card home and showed it to mom.
The mother was very disappointed by all the very low grades.
"Well look on the bright side" said the child, "you know for sure I don't cheat."
Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?