The best stupid jokes

My blonde girlfriend went to the doctors this morning and was told she had two weeks to live. She chose last week and this week.
has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, life, stupid, time
Little Mathieu was digging in his garden a hole. The next door neighbor saw him and asked; "Why are you digging the dirt Mathieu?" "My goldfish died, and I have to bury it." "Oh, I’m so sorry! But, isn’t that hole too big for a small goldfish?" "Indeed, it is! But my goldfish is inside your stupid cat!"
has 67.19 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: cat, death, fish, kids, stupid
Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!
has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: insulting, party, political, stupid, Yo mama
An aircraft is flying when all over sudden a bird crashes through the cockpit and kills both the pilot and co pilot. Having heard the crash a blonde flight attendant rushes in to find out what happened. Once inside the cockpit the plane jerks and the cabin door slams shut and can't be opened. So she pulls the captain out of his seat and sits down, taking the radio into her hands and says, "May Day! May Day! Help Me! Help Me! The pilots are dead and I don't know how to fly. Help Me! Please Help Me!" She hears a voice over the radio saying: "This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position!" "I'm 5'4 and in the front seat of the plane." "O.K." says the voice on the radio. "Repeat after me: Our father who art in heaven..."
has 66.87 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: air force, bird, blonde, stupid, travel
Yo mama so stupid that when she turned on airplane mode... She thought she could fly.
has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: airplane, insulting, stupid, technology, Yo mama
Yo mama is so stupid that when she got on a motorcycle she didn't know how to open the window.
has 66.21 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Two rednecks from Arkansas were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something. The first redneck says to the other, "If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you." After about three hours, the second redneck finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo. The next morning, the first redneck finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the second redneck man if he did what he told him to do. The redneck answers, "Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows."
has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: hunting, redneck, stupid, time
Yo mommas so stupid she failed a survey.
has 66.01 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama
A redhead, a blonde and a brunette were stuck on an island and had to get back home from the island. The redhead swims half way and drowns. The brunette swims half way and drowns too. The blonde swims halfway gets tired and swims back.
has 65.91 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: blonde, desert island, redneck, sport, stupid
A little girl took her report card home and showed it to mom. The mother was very disappointed by all the very low grades. "Well look on the bright side" said the child, "you know for sure I don't cheat."
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: kids, school, stupid
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