The best stupid jokes

At the gym: Me: "What does this machine do?" "Sir, that's a bench." Me: "Perfect."
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: fitness, gym, stupid
Two blondes were talking together: First: "How about your engaged Jim? Is he keeping well?" Second: "He isn't just now my engaged." First: Hi good news. His nose was too big and his head was bald with an ugly face!" Second: "He is now my husband!"
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has 66.34 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, husband, stupid, ugly
An aircraft is flying when all over sudden a bird crashes through the cockpit and kills both the pilot and co pilot. Having heard the crash a blonde flight attendant rushes in to find out what happened. Once inside the cockpit the plane jerks and the cabin door slams shut and can't be opened. So she pulls the captain out of his seat and sits down, taking the radio into her hands and says, "May Day! May Day! Help Me! Help Me! The pilots are dead and I don't know how to fly. Help Me! Please Help Me!" She hears a voice over the radio saying: "This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position!" "I'm 5'4 and in the front seat of the plane." "O.K." says the voice on the radio. "Repeat after me: Our father who art in heaven..."
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has 66.28 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: air force, bird, blonde, stupid, travel
Yo mama is so stupid that when she got on a motorcycle she didn't know how to open the window.
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has 66.21 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama
A blonde enters a library. She goes to the counter and says "I'll like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola." The librarian says "Ma'am this is library." So the blonde leans in and whispers "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde, business, food, stupid
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, math, stupid, work
Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: graduation, light bulb, student, stupid, time
Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid, time, work
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: blonde, computer, men, stupid
Q: How does a blonde kill a worm? A: She burys it.
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, death, stupid
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