The best stupid jokes

It was very hot, and this guy runs to a nearby store to buy a hand fan. There were two similar fans in make and model but one was 25 cents and the other was 50 cents. The guy opted for the cheaper one thinking that they work the same way. Before he left the store, the owner tried to impress on the buyer on how each works, but the buyer was not interested - a fan is a fan is a fan, and he knows how to work it. The 25 cent fan broke. He came back yelling and screaming that the fan was no good. The owner explained that he should have got the operating instructions: "With the 50 cent fan, you move your wrist left and right to get the air flowing. With the 25 cent fan which works differently, you hold the fan steady in your wrist and move your head left to right to get the air flowing."
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: customer service, money, stupid, technology, weather
An aircraft is flying when all over sudden a bird crashes through the cockpit and kills both the pilot and co pilot. Having heard the crash a blonde flight attendant rushes in to find out what happened. Once inside the cockpit the plane jerks and the cabin door slams shut and can't be opened. So she pulls the captain out of his seat and sits down, taking the radio into her hands and says, "May Day! May Day! Help Me! Help Me! The pilots are dead and I don't know how to fly. Help Me! Please Help Me!" She hears a voice over the radio saying: "This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position!" "I'm 5'4 and in the front seat of the plane." "O.K." says the voice on the radio. "Repeat after me: Our father who art in heaven..."
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has 68.17 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: air force, bird, blonde, stupid, travel
Yo mama so stupid that when you told her the mouse on her computer was broken she took it to the vet.
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has 68.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: computer, doctor, stupid, technology, Yo mama
Why did the Mexican take Xanax? For hispanic attacks.
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has 68.05 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, ethnic, mexican, racist, stupid
Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: graduation, light bulb, student, stupid, time
Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car's tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, "When were you last driving the car?" "Last night at 11:00," I said. "And the tires were on it then?"
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, driving, stupid, time
Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets? A: She went looking for the three guys.
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: baby, blonde, sex, stupid
Two adventurers John and Jack were hunting for gold in the desert. After roaming all day long under the hot sun, they set up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, John woke up his friend. "Jack, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Jack looked up and replied, "I can see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" asked John. Jack thought for a minute and said. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" After a moment of silence, John spoke. "It tells two things to me. First is that... you are an idiot." Jack looked at John, surprised. "Why do you say so?" he said. "Because it has still not occurred to you that someone has stolen our tent." replied John.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: friendship, hunting, science, stupid, time
One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, food, stupid
When my customer ordered iced tea, I asked, "Sweetened or unsweetened?" Her answer: "What's the difference?"
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: customer service, stupid
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