Q: Did you hear that the White House isn't displaying it's Nativity scene this year? A: They couldn't find the three wise men!
Yo mama so dumb,when she got an "F" on her test, she thought it mean Fantastic!
Q: What do you call a smart blonde? A: Bigfoot, because they don't exist.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she jumped off a cliff and stopped for directions.
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? A: She didn't know what one came first.
A blonde went to the eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?" The salesman said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don"t sell to blondes." The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don"t sell to blondes." She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?" "Because that is not a TV, it's a microwave."
Two adventurers John and Jack were hunting for gold in the desert. After roaming all day long under the hot sun, they set up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, John woke up his friend. "Jack, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Jack looked up and replied, "I can see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" asked John. Jack thought for a minute and said. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" After a moment of silence, John spoke. "It tells two things to me. First is that... you are an idiot." Jack looked at John, surprised. "Why do you say so?" he said. "Because it has still not occurred to you that someone has stolen our tent." replied John.
When my customer ordered iced tea, I asked, "Sweetened or unsweetened?" Her answer: "What's the difference?"
There were four people on a plane. One of them, the Pilot. The other was the president of the United States –Obama, The oldest man in the world, and a little boy. The plane was about to crash and the only option for survival was to jump! But there were only three parachutes. The Pilot took a parachute and said, "I'm the pilot, so I should get a parachute." And he jumped off. Then Obama grabs a and jumps saying, "Since I'm the president, I get one too!" And he jumps. The little boy then grabs a parachute and hands it to the old man. The man declines, saying, "No, boy, take it. I'm too old anyway." The boy answers, "What? No! Obama took my back-pack!"
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought starbucks are money in space.