The best stupid jokes

Q: Why did the blond layout on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight? A: She wanted to get a dark tan.
Vote:
has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, stupid
A blonde's house is on fire. She runs outside and yells, "Help me! My house is on fire! What do I do?!" Someone else yells, "Call 911!" The blonde yells back, "What's the number?"
Vote:
has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone, stupid
Yo mama so stupid, the password needed 8 characters, so she put Snow white and the 7 dwarves.
Vote:
has 73.43 % from 246 votes. More jokes about: IT, stupid, Yo mama
Yo mama so stupid she stuck her face into a book to make a Facebook.
Vote:
has 73.42 % from 914 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Yo mamma so stupid she tried to eat her iPhone because it had an apple on it!
Vote:
has 73.26 % from 228 votes. More jokes about: phone, stupid, Yo mama
The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions. "Ever have an accident?" "Nope, nary a one." "None? You've never had any accidents." "Nope. Ain't had one. Never." "Well, you said in this form you were bitten by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?" "Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."
Vote:
has 73.25 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy, life, stupid
A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis." The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
Vote:
has 73.22 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, medical, stupid
An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said, "I am Stephen King , the best selling author of my time... My millions of fans need me , and i can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left the planernThe 2nd passenger , Barack Hussein Obama, said , "I am the 44th President of the United States, and I am the smartest President in American history , so my people don't want me to die." He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.rnThe 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10 year old schoolboy, "My son , I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute." The little boy said , "That's okay , Your Holiness, there's a parachute left for you. America's smartest President took my schoolbag."
Vote:
has 73.17 % from 272 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, money, stupid, time
I asked the boss if I could get a raise, and he said, "Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment." I said, "I don't get it." He said, "That's right."
Vote:
has 73.06 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: management, money, stupid
A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car. "235,000 miles." Her friend told her that was the problem. But the blonde's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the blond's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles. The blonde told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!"
Vote:
has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid
<<<78910
More jokes →
Page 7 of 38.