Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and requested a vehicle pass. The young airman, fresh out of technical training, asked to see his military ID, driver's license and his vehicle registration. Noticing the letters BG on the man's identification, the new airman asked, "What's BG stand for - Big Guy?" "No," the man replied, leaning over the counter. "Try Brigadier General."
No! You don't have "Bad luck". You have low IQ and you make bad decisions.
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips.
Yo Mamma so stupid she put on bug spray before she goes to the flee market!
A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car. "235,000 miles." Her friend told her that was the problem. But the blonde's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the blond's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles. The blonde told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!"
Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? A: She wanted to gain weight!
Q: Why do blondes have more fun? A: They are easier to keep amused.
While shopping at the grocery store, I noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not. I mentioned this fact to the blonde cashier and mused out loud, "I wonder why?" The blonde replied, "Must be because the oil would suffocate them."
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she saw a "Wet Floor" sign and did what it said.