The best stupid jokes

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were. The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don’t even have a fridge to keep it in." The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty stupid, but says his wife is more stupid. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn’t even know how to drive!" The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every time I think of it," he chuckles, "my wife left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn’t even have a dick!"
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has 71.56 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: bar, money, stupid, wife, women
A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation package we had booked for him: He was expecting an ocean-view hotel room. I explained that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. "Don't lie to me," he said. "I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: customer service, geography, holiday, phone, stupid
A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino's Pizza: Customer: "Yoooo I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, it's Just Bread" Domino's: "We're sorry to hear about this!" Customer (minutes later): "Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down :/"
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, stupid, technology, time
A blonde is driving a helicopter and it crashes. When the police come and ask the blond what happened she says, "I got cold so I turned off the big fan!"
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has 70.99 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop, driving, stupid
Yo momma is so stupid, when your were born she looked at your embelical cord and says "It comes with cable!"
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has 70.98 % from 217 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Two adventurers John and Jack were hunting for gold in the desert. After roaming all day long under the hot sun, they set up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, John woke up his friend. "Jack, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Jack looked up and replied, "I can see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" asked John. Jack thought for a minute and said. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" After a moment of silence, John spoke. "It tells two things to me. First is that... you are an idiot." Jack looked at John, surprised. "Why do you say so?" he said. "Because it has still not occurred to you that someone has stolen our tent." replied John.
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: friendship, hunting, science, stupid, time
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised? A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
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has 70.90 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: blonde, men, sex, stupid, women
Yo Mama's so dumb she waited all day at a stop sign.
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has 70.88 % from 302 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama
The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions. "Ever have an accident?" "Nope, nary a one." "None? You've never had any accidents." "Nope. Ain't had one. Never." "Well, you said in this form you were bitten by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?" "Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."
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has 70.78 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy, life, stupid
Your mama so stupid she bought tickets to Xbox Live.
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has 70.65 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: IT, stupid, Yo mama