A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock. The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!"
Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses? A: From chasing parked ambulances.
You might be a redneck if you're invited to a come as you party and you show up naked.
There are three blonds that went to the store. After they get done in the store one of the blondes realizes that she locked her keys in her car. The first blond tried using a screwdriver to unlock the door. The second blond tried using a hanger. The third blond tried using pen. While they are trying to unlock the door the second blond says "We better hurry up guys its about to rain and the tops down!"
Client: "Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence." Me: "You mean... the period?" Client: "I don't care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it."
Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo mama is so stupid, she was looking for bluetooth at the orthodontist.
Yo mama is so stupid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.
Two blondes were talking together: First: "How about your engaged Jim? Is he keeping well?" Second: "He isn't just now my engaged." First: Hi good news. His nose was too big and his head was bald with an ugly face!" Second: "He is now my husband!"
Two rednecks from Arkansas were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something. The first redneck says to the other, "If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you." After about three hours, the second redneck finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo. The next morning, the first redneck finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the second redneck man if he did what he told him to do. The redneck answers, "Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows."