Death: It's your time. give me your hand Blonde: No! i know that if i dont touch you then I'll never die! Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You're soooo smart! High five! Blonde: *high fives* Death: Typical blonde... Dumbass...
A blonde's house is on fire. She runs outside and yells, "Help me! My house is on fire! What do I do?!" Someone else yells, "Call 911!" The blonde yells back, "What's the number?"
Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
Client: "Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence." Me: "You mean... the period?" Client: "I don't care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it."
Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
Q: How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies? A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.
During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle. "Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said. "What fer?" asked Pyle. "Shorter hours." "Good fer them!" said the redneck. "Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!"
Yo mama is so stupid, she was looking for bluetooth at the orthodontist.
Phones are getting thinner and smarter. People, not so much.
Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses? A: From chasing parked ambulances.