Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion?
A: Jail.
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Even though telemarketers are slightly less beloved than dentists and tax auditors, that's the job my friend took during his summer vacation.
Halfway through one of his sales pitches, he heard a clicking at the other end of the line.
Thinking the man may have hung up, he asked, "Are you still there?"
"Yeah, still here," said the man.
"Sorry, I heard a click and I thought you'd been disconnected."
"No," the man said, "that would sound more like this."
He then proceeded to show me what it would sound like by slamming down the phone.
Vote:
Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant?
She charges an arm and a leg.
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Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant?
A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
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Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
AA By his net income.
How do you know you have a great CPA?
He has a tax loophole named after him.
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A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?"
The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax."
"TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined?
A: For buttering up her clients.
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Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK?
A: He can claim Gift Relief.