Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and he really needed to go to the bathroom.
He yelled, "Teacher, Teacher, I have to go pee pee!"
The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, you should be old enough to know that this is not the proper word to use?"
"The correct word would be urinate."
"Now Johnny, would you please use the word urinate in a sentence?"
Little Johnny thought for a moment then said:, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten!"
Vote:
A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep It was fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate, not fascinating".
Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."
The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate."
Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him.
Johnny said, "My Aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight."
Vote:
Two men were talking about their wives.
First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please."
Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"
The teacher had given the class an assignment.
He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family.
A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"
The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Teacher: "Alex, stop showing off. Do you think you are the teacher of this class?"
Alex: "No, Miss."
Teacher: "Then stop acting like a fool!"
Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father: No. Why do you ask that?
Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
Little Johnny was always late for school.
When asked why he said he had to eat his popsicle.
Without thinking the teacher told him to eat half his popsicle and save the other half in his pocket.
Next day Johnny was on time.
The teacher had history class.
"What are the people in Asia called", she asked a student.
"Asians", said the student.
"What are the people in Africa called".
"Africans" said the student.
Then she asked Johnny, "What are the people in Europe called", but Johnny didn't know so the girl behind him whispered, "Euro pean."
To that Johnny said, "No I'm not, that's just my popsicle."
Vote:
A teacher was asking his pupils to tell the name of body organs.
When he asked the name of buttocks when pointing the picture of it, one of the pupils answered: "Its name is trouble".
When the teacher asked the boy about the reason, the boy replied: "I myself saw my father last night rubbing my mother's ass saying 'what a trouble it is.'"
Yo mama is so stupid that when a teacher told the class nobody is perfect, he replied, "I want to become nobody!"
Vote:
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer."
"Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!"
God replies, "You better send them up here immediately."
Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them."
God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you."
Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"