The best teacher jokes

Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer." "Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!" God replies, "You better send them up here immediately." Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them." God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you." Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
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has 50.54 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, god, lawyer, teacher
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
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has 50.28 % from 211 votes. More jokes about: math, school, student, stupid, teacher
A student to his teacher: "I haven't got no pencil." Teacher, correcting him: "You don't have any pencil. He doesn't have any pencils. We don't have any pencils." Student, with a look of astonishment: "Where have all the pencils gone?"
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher
Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America. Shamu: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America? Ramu: Shamu!
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has 49.54 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: geography, school, teacher
Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk." Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, teacher
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny... Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"
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has 48.79 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, family, little Johnny, teacher
Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, teacher
A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve. A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?" Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
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has 48.20 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, racist, teacher
Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"? Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' Teacher: No, that's wrong Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, school, teacher
Q: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? A: A teacher.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, school, teacher
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