The best teacher jokes

Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
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More jokes about: school, student, teacher, technology, time
Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly. The teacher frowned and passed him by. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him. Johnny put on his devlish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is...fluctuation." The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's sucks! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging a**hole you are!"
Vote: has 40.57 % from 137 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: duck, little Johnny, student, teacher
One day, a young boy was asked by his teacher to tell him what the chemical formula for water was. The boy replied with "H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O". The Teacher was stunned. "That's not right, how did you come up with that?" The boy said, "Last week you said it was H2O!"
Vote: has 40.53 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, science, teacher
An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dollars. Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper. 'Alec !' yelled the teacher, 'you've done nothing. Why?' 'Because if I had a million dollars, that's exactly what I would do !'
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, teacher
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. "Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?" "The Red Sox." "Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too." "That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?" "No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: football, sport, student, teacher
What is a teacher's favorite kind of music? Class-ical.
Vote: has 38.12 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: music, school, teacher
Teacher: "In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?" Pupil: "Holding up the telegraph lines!"
Vote: has 36.45 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: phone, school, teacher, war
Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! Ramu: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
Vote: has 35.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher
One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, "There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything." After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same. After hesitating, they all did it. "Next," the professor said, "you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger."
Vote: has 34.58 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, science, student, teacher
I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.
Vote: has 34.09 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher, work