The best technology jokes

Funny facts about Google users: 50% of people use Google well as a search engine. The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected
Vote: has 81.64 % from 579 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, IT, technology
yo momas so stupid when theives broke into her house and stole the TV she chased after them shouting ''wait you forgot the remote''.
Vote: has 81.55 % from 2334 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, stupid, technology, Yo mama
What We Learn From the Movies: It is always possible to park directly in front of any building you are visiting. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. If you start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. Most laptops are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. After a person suffers a massive blow to the head, they will still be surprisingly good looking. No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock. Partnering police officers with their total opposites will always, eventually, lead to buddy teams who share unbreakable bonds and gruff affection.
Vote: has 81.23 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, life, technology
I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.
Vote: has 80.99 % from 248 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, technology
One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and says: "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years," replies the stunned man. With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says: "Man, oh man! Is that good!" "And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him. Trembling the castaway replies: "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says: "WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!" At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks: "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?" With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs: "Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got a laptop?"
Vote: has 80.65 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, desert island, technology, time
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Vote: has 80.56 % from 892 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Facebook, technology
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Vote: has 80.25 % from 227 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, technology
Peter: "Your secretary is very sexy..." Tony: "Thanks! It's a robot actually, named 'Maria'. If you squeeze her right boob, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left boob, she types letters! I'll Lend it to you for a day & you can see her functions..." Next day Peter called Tony from hospital & shouted: "You bastard!" You didn't tell me that the "HOLE" between Maria's legs is a pencil sharpener.
Vote: has 79.72 % from 1068 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: hospital, sex, technology
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
Vote: has 78.84 % from 337 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, math, technology
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
Vote: has 78.77 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: internet, IT, kids, mean, technology