The best technology jokes

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
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has 81.40 % from 349 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, technology
One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and says: "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" "Ten years," replies the stunned man. With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says: "Man, oh man! Is that good!" "And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him. Trembling the castaway replies: "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says: "WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!" At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks: "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?" With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs: "Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got a laptop?"
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has 81.38 % from 217 votes. More jokes about: blonde, desert island, technology, time
Funny facts about Google users: 50% of people use Google well as a search engine. The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected
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has 81.33 % from 615 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, technology
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
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has 81.15 % from 512 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, technology
I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.
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has 81.09 % from 267 votes. More jokes about: computer, technology
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
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has 80.53 % from 983 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, technology
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
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has 80.22 % from 471 votes. More jokes about: marriage, nerd, technology
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
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has 80.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, money, technology
Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.
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has 80.13 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: coding, IT, nerd, programmer, technology
yo momas so stupid when theives broke into her house and stole the TV she chased after them shouting ''wait you forgot the remote''.
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has 80.08 % from 2960 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, technology, Yo mama
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