Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Vote:
One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon.
"It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself.
As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned guy and says: "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," replies the stunned man.
With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says: "Man, oh man! Is that good!"
"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him.
Trembling the castaway replies: "Ten years."
She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him.
He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says: "WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!"
At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks: "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?"
With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs: "Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got a laptop?"
Vote:
Funny facts about Google users:
50% of people use Google well as a search engine.
The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected
Vote:
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Johnny!
What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
Vote:
I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.
Vote:
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Vote:
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Vote:
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses?
A: Because they don't C#.
Vote:
yo momas so stupid when theives broke into her house and stole the TV she chased after them shouting ''wait you forgot the remote''.
Vote: