Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
What We Learn From the Movies: It is always possible to park directly in front of any building you are visiting. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. If you start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. Most laptops are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. After a person suffers a massive blow to the head, they will still be surprisingly good looking. No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock. Partnering police officers with their total opposites will always, eventually, lead to buddy teams who share unbreakable bonds and gruff affection.
Funny facts about Google users: 50% of people use Google well as a search engine. The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected
yo momas so stupid when theives broke into her house and stole the TV she chased after them shouting ''wait you forgot the remote''.
I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.
"Siri, why am I still single?" Siri activates front camera.
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Me using the Siri app on my iPhone: Me: "Siri, call my wife." Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts." Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife." Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife." Me: "Call my wife." Siri: "Which wife?"
Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on? A: Your bad backlinks.
Peter: "Your secretary is very sexy..." Tony: "Thanks! It's a robot actually, named 'Maria'. If you squeeze her right boob, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left boob, she types letters! I'll Lend it to you for a day & you can see her functions..." Next day Peter called Tony from hospital & shouted: "You bastard!" You didn't tell me that the "HOLE" between Maria's legs is a pencil sharpener.