Yo mama so stupid that when you told her the mouse on her computer was broken she took it to the vet.
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
Your momma so ugly her face is used as an x ray in mortal kombat X.
My grandfather once told me "your generation is too reliant on technology." So I replied "no, your generation is too reliant on technology!" Then I disconnected his life support.
Chuck Norris sent a e-mail through the postal service.
Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb? A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows. "I'm getting a fax," he explains.
Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name. It's called the internet.