You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts...
Man, and do you have life?
OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
Vote:
When our air conditioner broke down, we called for a serviceman to come and take a look at it.
It turned out to be a high school classmate of my husband's named Love.
He said next time we needed any repairs to ask for him.
The next year when we needed service again, we requested Mr. Love.
I took the day off from work and waited for him to arrive.
After he had worked on our air conditioner, he left his work order behind.
It had my name and said: "Wants Love in afternoon."
Vote:
Phones are getting thinner and smarter.
People, not so much.
Vote:
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas.
At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE..."
"I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO..."
"I PRAY FOR A NEW STEREO..."
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
Vote:
Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner.
We actually talked to each other.
It was awful!
Vote:
If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice.
Overnight an Asian will come to your house, fix the phone, eat the rice and then run away.
Vote:
My iPhone fell from the 20th floor.
Good thing it was in airplane mode.
Vote:
A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino's Pizza:
Customer: "Yoooo I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, it's Just Bread"
Domino's: "We're sorry to hear about this!"
Customer (minutes later): "Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down :/"
Vote:
Yo mama is so old that when she walked out of a museum the alarm went off.
Vote:
My grandfather once told me "your generation is too reliant on technology."
So I replied "no, your generation is too reliant on technology!"
Then I disconnected his life support.
Vote: