The best time jokes

A driver tucked a note under her windshield wiper and dashed off: "I've circled the block for 20 minutes. I'm late for an appointment and if I don't park here I'll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses." Returning, she came back only to find a parking ticket and this note: "I've circled the block for 20 years, and if I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job... Lead us not into temptation."
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More jokes about: age, life, time
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? A: Because they can spend years at C!
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More jokes about: pirate, student, time
Q: How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad? A: I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!
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Q: Why is marriage not a word? A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
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More jokes about: life, marriage, prison, time
Two old friends met by chance on the street. After chatting for some time, one said to the other, "I'm terribly sorry, but I've forgotten your name. You'll need to tell me." The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, "How soon do you need to know?"
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More jokes about: communication, friendship, memory, old people, time
Bro, send me some good jokes. Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend. Good One! Send me more.
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More jokes about: friendship, insulting, love, relationship, time
Q. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common? A. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.
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More jokes about: sex, time, viagra
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
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More jokes about: lawyer, life, money, terrorist, time
A young , attractive woman thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him, “Major, when was the last time you had sex?” “1956,” was his reply. “No wonder you look so uptight!” she exclaimed. “Major, you need to get out more!” “I’m not sure I understand you,” he answered, glancing at his watch, ”It’s only 2014 now.”
Vote: has 74.73 % from 341 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, time, women
The doctor gave me one year to live. So in the heat of the moment, I shot him. And the judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
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More jokes about: doctor, life, prison, time