The best time jokes

Q: What's the difference between death and taxes? A: Congress doesn't meet every year to make death worse.
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has 76.53 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: death, political, tax, time
Q. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common? A. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.
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has 76.53 % from 478 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, viagra
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
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has 76.46 % from 288 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says, "Sure chief, coming right up". He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee". The waiter says "Whoa, Tonto. We're still cleaning up your mess from the last time you were here. What the heck was that all about, anyway?" The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me in training for upper management. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the shit, and disappear for the rest of the day."
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has 76.32 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, management, time
Q: What do you get when you find a dead blonde in a closet? A: The hide and seek champion of 1996.
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has 76.26 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: blonde, game, time
Question: What’s the best thing about a blow job? Answer: Ten minutes of silence.
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has 76.17 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, women
I sent a reminder to a client that it was time to visit the eye doctor. He called back to inform me that he would not be coming in because, as he put it, "I have a new obstetrician."
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: customer service, doctor, phone, time
On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.
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has 75.90 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, life, new year, time
The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was told by his boss to lay off one of his employees, either Mary or Jack. His choice was a tough one because Mary had been a devoted employee for 10 years and Jack was a fine worker who had a family to support. At night, the VP tossed and turned in his sleep trying to decide which of his employees he would lay off. Finally he decided, the first one to come to work tomorrow would be the one. Morning finally comes and the VP waits at the office for one of the two employees to arrive. At 8:55 Mary walks into the office. "I've got a difficult decision" the VP says, "I either have to Lay You or Jack off." "Oh? jack-off," Mary says, "I've got a headache."
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has 75.60 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: family, political, time, women, work
A man was strolling along a beach in California. On giving the sand a kick he struck a corked bottle. He bent down, picked it up and removed the cork. Immediately, a Genie came out of the bottle and said to him, "Master, I have been a prisoner in this bottle for a thousand years and now you have set me free. For that, I will grant you one wish." The man thought for a moment then said, "I always wanted to go to Hawaii but I am afraid to fly and I get sick on a ship. Could you build a highway from California to Hawaii?" "Master, that is a difficult wish to fulfill. Can you think of something that is more practical?" The man thought for a moment and said, "Could you tell me why women are the way they are?" The Genie thought for a moment before replying, "Would that be two lanes or four?"
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has 75.58 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: genie, life, prison, time
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