The best time jokes

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the donkey. "Your name is written inside the cover."
Vote:
has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, bible, cowboy, time
Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
A plumber went to the attorneys house to unstop the sink. When he finished he said to the attorney "that will be $400.00." The attorney became irate "What do you mean $400.00, you were only here 20 minutes, that's ridiculous!!" The plumber replied, "I thought the same thing when I was an attorney".
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money, time
While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes. The woman asked, "Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?"
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, phone, time, work
An atheist was rowing on Loch Ness in Scotland one day, when suddenly the Loch Ness monster attacked and grabbed him from his boat. He panicked and shouted "God help me!", and suddenly, the monster and everything around him just froze. A voice from the heavens boomed "You say you don't believe in me, but now you're asking for my help?" The atheist looked up and said, "Well, ten seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either."
Vote:
has 73.48 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: atheist, god, time
I haven't spoken to the mother in law for 6 months now... apparently, it's rude to interrupt!
Vote:
has 73.31 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: communication, mother in law, time
One morning a boy walks in to class late His substitute teacher asks him "Where have you been" He replies "Throwing pebbles at a car" 15 minutes later a girl walks in the teacher asks 'where have you been' she answers "throwing pebbles at a car" 2 hours later a young girl comes in all bruised and dirty the teacher asks "Let me guess you were throwing pebbles at a car" she answers "No miss, I am pebbles"
Vote:
has 73.26 % from 273 votes. More jokes about: car, school, time
A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
Vote:
has 73.19 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, phone, sex, time
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
Vote:
has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship, time, Valentines day
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday." Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything. She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?" He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"
Vote:
has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, relationship, time
<<<15161718
More jokes →
Page 15 of 52.