The best time jokes

A blonde pick ups her dress from the dry cleaners, when she leaves the Cashier says, "Come again!" Bonde said, "Nah..It was ketchup this time."
Vote:
has 72.95 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, time
The two old coots were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn't keep Joe from boasting to Manny about his sexual endurance. "Three times," gasped Manny admiringly. "How'd you do it?" "It was easy." Joe looked down modestly. "I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten-minute nap. When I woke up again, I made love to her again and took another ten-minute nap. And then I put it to her again. Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I'll tell you." "I gotta try it," said Manny. "Lorraine won't believe it's happening." So that night he made love to his wife, took a ten-minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep. He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him. "What's up, Boss?" he asked. "I've been working for you for twenty years and never been late once. You aren't going to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?" "What twenty minutes?" growled the boss. "Where were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?"
Vote:
has 72.89 % from 345 votes. More jokes about: love, sex, time, wife, work
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
Vote:
has 72.80 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, wife
My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.
Vote:
has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: insulting, relationship, time
I've 3 aunts and 4 uncles in any ceremony of wedding they mention me : "oh , Bill you are enough grown up , the next time will be your turn." I also in payoff on funeral days tell them: "Woo you are enough old I hope next time would be your turn!"
Vote:
has 72.58 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: family, funeral, time, vulgar, wedding
1998: Don't get in the car with strangers. 2008: Don't meet people from the internet. 2018: Order yourself a stranger to get in the car with from the internet. (Uber)
Vote:
has 72.39 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: IT, time
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
Vote:
has 72.34 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: flirt, food, romantic, time
Q: What does it mean if you were born in September? A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!
Vote:
has 72.10 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, new year, sex, time
I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window. "We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded. I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich. "I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
Vote:
has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, customer service, food, mean, time
Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening just as they have done for the past 50 years. Gus, the elder, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife. At the end of the card game Red said to Gus, "You did very good tonight. You didn't need any help at all. Why is that?" Gus replied, "Why, ever since my wife sent me to that memory school, I haven't had any problems at all." "Memory school? What memory school?" Gus thought for a moment, "Oh, what's that flower that's red with thorns? A really pretty flower..." "A rose?" asked Red. "Yeah, that's it!" Gus turned to his wife and mumbled, "Hey, Rose! What's the name of that memory school you sent me to?"
Vote:
has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: memory, old people, school, time, wife
<<<16171819
More jokes →
Page 16 of 53.