The best time jokes

Q: What is foreplay for a Liberal? A: Thirty minutes of begging.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: democrat, time
While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes. The woman asked, "Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?"
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, phone, time, work
The two old coots were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn't keep Joe from boasting to Manny about his sexual endurance. "Three times," gasped Manny admiringly. "How'd you do it?" "It was easy." Joe looked down modestly. "I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten-minute nap. When I woke up again, I made love to her again and took another ten-minute nap. And then I put it to her again. Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I'll tell you." "I gotta try it," said Manny. "Lorraine won't believe it's happening." So that night he made love to his wife, took a ten-minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep. He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him. "What's up, Boss?" he asked. "I've been working for you for twenty years and never been late once. You aren't going to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?" "What twenty minutes?" growled the boss. "Where were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?"
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has 72.40 % from 327 votes. More jokes about: love, sex, time, wife, work
Yo mama so fat when she tossed in her sleep she woke up in another time zone.
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has 72.08 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, time, Yo mama
In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
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has 72.07 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris, technology, time
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?". To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"
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has 71.85 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: math, science, time, women
After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo! she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo". The husband replies "explain the kids?!"
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has 71.80 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, kids, marriage, time
A teenager is a hopeless romantic who never falls in love more then twice a week.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: love, romantic, teen, time
I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window. "We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded. I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich. "I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, customer service, food, mean, time
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