The best time jokes

Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
An atheist was rowing on Loch Ness in Scotland one day, when suddenly the Loch Ness monster attacked and grabbed him from his boat. He panicked and shouted "God help me!", and suddenly, the monster and everything around him just froze. A voice from the heavens boomed "You say you don't believe in me, but now you're asking for my help?" The atheist looked up and said, "Well, ten seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either."
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More jokes about: atheist, god, time
Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day? A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.
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More jokes about: ethnic, food, political, Thanksgiving, time
Bro, send me some good jokes. Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend. Good One! Send me more.
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More jokes about: friendship, insulting, love, relationship, time
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"
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More jokes about: golf, marriage, time, wife, women
Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
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After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.
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More jokes about: graduation, school, time, work
I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
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More jokes about: car, fitness, gym, time
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
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More jokes about: new year, time
My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.
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More jokes about: insulting, relationship, time