The best time jokes

When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice. "The first ten years are the hardest." "How long have you been married?" she asked. "Ten years", he replied.
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More jokes about: marriage, time, work
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
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More jokes about: food, life, time
I'm tired 8 days a week.
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More jokes about: life, time
"Backspace key"... hiding feelings since ages.
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More jokes about: technology, time
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine."
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More jokes about: doctor, health, life, time
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion? A: It was too current.
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More jokes about: hipster, time
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
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More jokes about: food, life, time
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday." Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything. She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?" He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"
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More jokes about: birthday, black humor, relationship, time
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
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More jokes about: dirty, time, wife
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
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More jokes about: dirty, time, travel