The best time jokes

Q: What's a terrorist's favorite day in November? A: Bomb fire night.
Vote:
has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: holiday, terrorist, time
Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband : Nothing. Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour." Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
Vote:
has 64.01 % from 458 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, time, wife
Work emails are like the gym. You sign up for it thinking it will be loads of fun. You get bored of it within hours. You only keep going to keep up your reputation. The more you stay away, the harder it is to go back.
Vote:
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: communication, gym, life, time, work
Q: What did the clock do when it was hungry? A: It went back four seconds.
Vote:
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: food, time
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.
Vote:
has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, office, time, work
I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game. This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball". So I adjusted my stance and took another swing. Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball." So I stepped back a little more and swung. This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hell are you talking about! The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".
Vote:
has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, game, golf, mean, time
The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes. St. Peter: "What do you want? " Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus." St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
Vote:
has 63.49 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: christian, communication, ethnic, heaven, time
Teacher: What happened in 1869? Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born. Teacher: What happened in 1873? Student: Gandhi was four years old
Vote:
has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: kids, student, teacher, time
A young man decided after 4 years of working nonstop at a decent paying job and saving the bulk of his earnings that perhaps it was time to settle down. He called up an old girlfriend from his high school days and she answered on the first ring. As they spoke and reminisced about old times she said to him "Wow, this has been great, I've really enjoyed speaking with you, but I must ask, where on earth did you find my number?" To which he replied "Honestly? I'm just as surprised as you are, I have been working as a jani tor in our old high school and just happened to see your number etched into the door of a boys bathroom stall! I'm amazed you still have the same number after all these years!" And she responded "Well, how else was I supposed to keep in touch with all the boys I used to sleep with?"
Vote:
has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, relationship, time, work
The economy got very bad in 2008. I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
Vote:
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, money, time
<<<27282930
More jokes →
Page 27 of 53.