The best time jokes

Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, time, vulgar
"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
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More jokes about: black humor, car, hospital, time
"My wife drives like thunder." "So fast?" "No, every minute she strikes a tree."
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, time, travel, wife
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
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More jokes about: baby, fat, mean, single, time
Q: What's a terrorist's favorite day in November? A: Bomb fire night.
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More jokes about: holiday, terrorist, time
In the beginning of time, God created the world and then rested. Then he created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then neither God nor man has rested.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, time, women
Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, cowboy, time
My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues To see it hang its little head And watch me tie my shoes.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, beauty, time, work
Wedding anniversaries are a time when men pause and reflect on what it was they did before they were married: anything they wanted to.
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More jokes about: anniversary, marriage, time
Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? A: Because they can't stop saving their work.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: internet, soccer, sport, time, work