The best time jokes

Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? A: Because they can't stop saving their work.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: internet, soccer, sport, time, work
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. "Where were you? I was worried sick." "It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, couple, sport, time
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
Vote: has 66.43 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, time, wife
Roses are red lemons are sour. Open your legs and give me an hour.
Vote: has 66.34 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food, poems, sex, time
This mothers day, Men all around were criticized for not calling their mothers on such an important day. But me, I thought of the best way to get out of such a mess. Heres how the beginning of the Monday after Mothers Day went for me: Mother: "You know Mike, I was thinking and out of all my sons, you never called me on Mothers Day!" Me: "You know Mom, I was thinking, and out of all my mothers, you never called me on SON-day!" Something like this is bound to make her smile and forget, worked with my Mom!
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, time, women
Yo mama so fat she needed two wrist watches cause shes in two time zones.
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, time, Yo mama
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, time, wife
A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. "That's such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient. "Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
Vote: has 65.53 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, health, lawyer, marriage, time
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.  In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
Vote: has 65.53 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, sex, time
Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time