The best time jokes

Chuck Norris once spent a month in El Paso one night.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: baby, fat, mean, single, time
I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, Halloween, time
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
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has 64.64 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time
Chuck Norris' day consists of 25 hours.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Yo mama so ugly when she looked at the sun, it turned nighttime.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: time, ugly, Yo mama
A cowboy rides in the desert and comes upon a Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm finding out the time -- it is 12:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and thinks, "Wow, it really is 12:15." The cowboy continues and sees another Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm seeing what time it is -- it is 3:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and that is the correct time. The cowboy continues and finds a third Native American lying naked on the ground, masturbating. The cowboy asks what he's doing and he replies, "I'm winding my watch."
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has 64.26 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: cowboy, disgusting, masturbation, time
Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less? A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: republican, tax, time
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