The best time jokes

There were only two people in line ahead of me at the electronics store, yet the wait was dragging on forever. Finally, the customer behind me muttered, "Mr. Hare must be on vacation." Only then did I notice the name tag on the man at the register. It read: "Mr. Turtle, sales associate."
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: customer service, holiday, time
An old man was accounting manager in a company. Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back. After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died. After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: accountant, funeral, old people, time, work
Roses are red lemons are sour. Open your legs and give me an hour.
has 63.69 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, poems, sex, time
A young man decided after 4 years of working nonstop at a decent paying job and saving the bulk of his earnings that perhaps it was time to settle down. He called up an old girlfriend from his high school days and she answered on the first ring. As they spoke and reminisced about old times she said to him "Wow, this has been great, I've really enjoyed speaking with you, but I must ask, where on earth did you find my number?" To which he replied "Honestly? I'm just as surprised as you are, I have been working as a jani tor in our old high school and just happened to see your number etched into the door of a boys bathroom stall! I'm amazed you still have the same number after all these years!" And she responded "Well, how else was I supposed to keep in touch with all the boys I used to sleep with?"
has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, relationship, time, work
Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, time
About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, god, life, money, time
Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world. The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
I have got a new dog. We have trained together for two months and imagine, after these two months I was able to reach him my paw and managed even barking around on command. My dog can be proud of myself.
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: dog, time
Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, time, Yo mama
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