The best time jokes

Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
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Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
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A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself. Now he has provoked the event 2012.
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Chuck Norris once spent a month in El Paso one night.
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"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
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More jokes about: black humor, car, hospital, time
I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
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More jokes about: black humor, death, family, Halloween, time
Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared. These are known as black holes.
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Guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex. "I think my privates are too small." he says. The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. "Well, Lager," he replies, quite bemused. "Ah. There's your problem. It shrinks things, those Lagers. You should try drinking Guinness. That makes things grow." Two months later the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him. "I take it you now drink Guinness?" asked the doc. "No", replies the man "but I've got the wife on Lager!"
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Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, life, time
Yo mama so ugly when she looked at the sun, it turned nighttime.
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