The best time jokes

Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, stupid, time, work
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
Vote: has 64.85 % from 190 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: graduation, memory, student, time, work
I'm not usually one to tell someone how to do their job, which is probably why my promotion to management only lasted a week.
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More jokes about: management, time, work
Two new deer hunters decided to separate to increases their chances. "What if we get lost?" says one of them. "Fire three shots up in the air, every hour on the hour," says the other. "I saw it on TV." Sure enough, one of the hunters gets lost, so he fires three shots up into the air every hour on the hour. The next day the other hunter finds his friend with the help of the Forest Ranger. "Did you do what I said?" asked the hunter. "Yes, I fired three shots up into the air every hour on the hour, until I ran out of arrows."
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: friendship, hunting, time
Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, time
One day little Johnny was playing on his push car that u sit on and push with your feet. His looked like a bus, and as such he was the bus driver. Little Johnny would drive a little, stop, and say "all you mother fuckers that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuckers that want to get off, get off." His mother was in the kitchen and thought surely I didn't hear him correctly. But then once again, little Johnny stopped and said "all you mother fuckers that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuckers that want t o get off, get off." So him mom came running out and told her young son he was to go to his room 'till he learned to play right. About 20 minutes later Johnny came out to play. Be reassured his mom he learned his lesson. So, back on his bus, he began driving around again. He stopped and said "all you nice people that want to get off, get off. And all you nice people that want to get on, get on. And all you mother fuckers that want to know why I'm late, ask the bitch in the kitchen.
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, game, little Johnny, time, vulgar
Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns. "Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver. "Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99." The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: graduation, men, time, work
Yo mama is so fat it took her three whole months to get through a door.
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More jokes about: fat, insulting, time, Yo mama
On the first day of the deer hunting season, a hunter fell out of a deer stand and broke both his legs. "Why couldn't this happen on my last day of hunting?!" the hunter cried to the doctor. "It did," the doctor replied.
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More jokes about: communication, doctor, hunting, mean, time