The best time jokes

The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life, time
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.  In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
has 60.47 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex, time
"I spent the whole evening knotsurfing!" "Don't you mean netsurfing?" "No, everyone was complaining because I tied the computer up for ages!"
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, internet, technology, time
Yo momma is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas.
has 59.95 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: age, Christmas, time, Yo mama
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
has 59.95 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, memory, sex, time
Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, time, work
George and Harry out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean. After 37 hours in the air, George says "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are". Harry let's out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover. George says, "I still can't tell where we are, let's ask that guy on the ground". So Harry yells down at the man "Hey, could you tell us where we are?" The man on the ground yells back "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in the air". George turns to Harry and says "That man must be a lawyer". And Harry says "How can you tell?". George says "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate and totally useless". That's the end of the Joke, but for you people who are still worried about George and Harry: They end up in the drink, and make the front page of the New York Times: "Balloonists Soaked by Lawyer".
has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, math, science, time, travel
An old man was accounting manager in a company. Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back. After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died. After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"
has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: accountant, funeral, old people, time, work
A teenager is a hopeless romantic who never falls in love more then twice a week.
has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: love, romantic, teen, time
I know an archaeologist who can tell you what period a tampon was from.
has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, time, work
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