Roses are red
lemons are sour.
Open your legs
and give me an hour.
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.
In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
"I spent the whole evening knotsurfing!"
"Don't you mean netsurfing?"
"No, everyone was complaining because I tied the computer up for ages!"
Vote:
Yo momma is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas.
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
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Vote:
An old man was accounting manager in a company.
Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back.
After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died.
After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"
Vote:
A teenager is a hopeless romantic who never falls in love more then twice a week.
Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?"
Me: "Mom."