The best time jokes

Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
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has 61.43 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, travel
Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12.
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has 61.39 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: college, religious, terrorist, time
Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, time, Yo mama
How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, time, women
Q: Why is marriage not a word? A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, prison, time
Q: Why don't women wear watches? A: There's a clock on the stove!
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: time, women
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, time
Two new deer hunters decided to separate to increases their chances. "What if we get lost?" says one of them. "Fire three shots up in the air, every hour on the hour," says the other. "I saw it on TV." Sure enough, one of the hunters gets lost, so he fires three shots up into the air every hour on the hour. The next day the other hunter finds his friend with the help of the Forest Ranger. "Did you do what I said?" asked the hunter. "Yes, I fired three shots up into the air every hour on the hour, until I ran out of arrows."
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: friendship, hunting, time
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? A: Because they can spend years at C!
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: pirate, student, time
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: golf, sport, time, women
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