The best time jokes

Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, sex, single, time
Yo mama so ugly when she looked at the sun, it turned nighttime.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: time, ugly, Yo mama
Chuck Norris beat the light speed by 2 hours and 23 minutes.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, game, time
A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself. Now he has provoked the event 2012.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, time, travel, weather
Chuck Norris once spent a month in El Paso one night.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest? I don't know he is still busy.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, time
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time