The best time jokes

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: golf, sport, time, women
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: graduation, memory, student, time, work
Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections? A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!
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has 58.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: money, political, republican, time
Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? A: Because they can't stop saving their work.
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has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: internet, soccer, sport, time, work
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
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has 57.62 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, fitness, gym, time
A young man decided after 4 years of working nonstop at a decent paying job and saving the bulk of his earnings that perhaps it was time to settle down. He called up an old girlfriend from his high school days and she answered on the first ring. As they spoke and reminisced about old times she said to him "Wow, this has been great, I've really enjoyed speaking with you, but I must ask, where on earth did you find my number?" To which he replied "Honestly? I'm just as surprised as you are, I have been working as a jani tor in our old high school and just happened to see your number etched into the door of a boys bathroom stall! I'm amazed you still have the same number after all these years!" And she responded "Well, how else was I supposed to keep in touch with all the boys I used to sleep with?"
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has 57.62 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, relationship, time, work
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, time
Q: What's the forecast for New Year's Eve? A: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: drunk, new year, time
Chuck Norris is ambidextrous. He can do Roundhouse kicks with his left and right leg. All at the same time.
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has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
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has 57.03 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, time
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