The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time?
A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.
Q: If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later leaves on Friday, how does he do it?
A: The horse's name is Friday!
Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?
A: Because they can't stop saving their work.
I know an archaeologist who can tell you what period a tampon was from.
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A married couple has invoked the ghosts, after 15 minutes of invoking has appeared only the face of the grandmother of the man.
The married couple has asked the grandmother together: "What would you like to tell us dear granny? "
The granny has said: "I am looking forward to seeing you soon. Have a nice day!"
A random communist leader hears about a man making jokes about him.
He organizes a feast and calls the man.
Leader: "This is how all meals will look in the future!"
Man: (looks for a few seconds at the leader then says): "I thought I was the one around with the jokes."
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The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system.
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