The best time jokes

Chuck Norris did the blue whale challenge. By the 50th day, his instructor had jumped off the building.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
Vote: has 64.65 % from 192 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, life, time
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, fat, mean, single, time
Q: What's a terrorist's favorite day in November? A: Bomb fire night.
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More jokes about: holiday, terrorist, time
Yo mama so ugly when she looked at the sun, it turned nighttime.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: time, ugly, Yo mama
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, flirt, memory, sex, time
Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
Vote: has 64.23 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, time
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am." The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... "It is 5.00am; wake up."
Vote: has 64.05 % from 326 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage, time, wife
A husband and wife are having financial troubles. They agree she should walk the streets to pick up some extra cash. The husband drops his wife off in the red light area of town, and returns 6 hours later. She gets in the car and says, "Look, I made $40.50 !" "What jerk gave you 50 cents?" he asks. "All of them!"
Vote: has 63.97 % from 164 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: husband, marriage, money, time, wife


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