The best time jokes

There are an older brother and a younger sister. The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom. The sister asks the brother if she could play with his dick and he says yeah. A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no. Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little pissed of he says yes. After a while, the parents hear a scream. They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."
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has 56.20 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, sex, time
Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, time, Yo mama
A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, "Call for my lawyer." When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one side of the bed, while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then laid back and closed his eyes. When he remained silent for several minutes, the physician asked what he had in mind. The man replied "Jesus died with a thief on either side. I just thought I'd check out the same way."
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: god, hospital, lawyer, time
A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.” “Really,” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?” “Twelve thirty.”
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: money, old people, time
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine."
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, life, time
Chuck norris was born on May 6 1945. De Nazi surrenderd on May 7 1945.
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has 56.02 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, time, war
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: kids, sex, single, time
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning? A: An alarm cluck!
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, time
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. “The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.” “And that’s how you built an empire?” the boy asked. “Heavens, no!” the man replied. “Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, money, old people, time, wife
Yo mama is so fat it took her three whole months to get through a door.
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, time, Yo mama
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