The best time jokes

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. “The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.” “And that’s how you built an empire?” the boy asked. “Heavens, no!” the man replied. “Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: food, money, old people, time, wife
There were three guys manhers, shaup and shed. They went for a drive, shed wanted to go to the store to pick up snacks for the ride. So shed went in the store. Twenty minutes passes they were getting impatient so manhers went in what's taking him so long. Minutes later a police officer went to him and asked his name he replied "shaup!" Police officer was startled what he said. Police said "where's your manners boy!". Shaup replied to the officer "he's inside picking up shed*
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop, food, time, travel
Q: What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance? A: A late night.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, time
Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: time, ugly, Yo mama
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch? A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
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has 56.76 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: time, women
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: kids, sex, single, time
Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?" Me: "Mom."
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, time, work
Chuck Norris is ambidextrous. He can do Roundhouse kicks with his left and right leg. All at the same time.
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has 56.50 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
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has 56.17 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning." "What is she doing?", the pal asks. "Waiting for me to get home."
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has 56.16 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: marriage, time, wife
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