The best time jokes

There are three men on a desert island: Genius, Smart, and Idiot. Genius has concluded that at least one man must swim to shore and get help. Genius volunteered himself, as he is the most likely to get remember to get help. Genius, not being very athletic, swam halfway to safety and then drowned. Days later, Smart finally realized Genius drowned. Smart then decided it was his turn to swim and get help. Idiot agreed because he didn't know what was happening. Smart, not being very athletic, swam three quarte rs of the way to safety and drowned. Days later, Idiot decided it must his turn to swim. He also did not know what his goal was. Idiot, not having very much intelligence, swam halfway to safety, felt tired, so he swam back to the island he was stranded on.
Vote: has 61.89 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: desert island, memory, sport, stupid, time
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science, time
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He only brought enough money for one beer though. As hes drinking his beer, which was quite expensive, he realizes how bad he has to go to the bathroom. Not wanting anyone to drink his expensive beer, he takes out a 3x5 note card and writes on it, "I SPIT IN THIS BEER", and walks to the bathroom. When he comes back about 15 minutes later, theres another 3x5 note card next to his beer saying, "I SPIT IN IT TOO".
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer, money, time
Yo momma's so old if she were a car it would be time to roll back her odometer.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, car, time, Yo mama
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, time
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, love, time
People say that time heals all wounds. They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, health, time
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, relationship, time, wife
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, time
Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, stupid, time, Yo mama