The best time jokes

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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, time, work
An Indian soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Indian army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in a Pakistani tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the Border. As I saw a Pakistani tank. I put my white flag up, the Pakistani tank put his white flag up. I said to the Pakistani soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
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has 56.78 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: holiday, military, time
A man has visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future. The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said: "you will be not rich because you have a very small ass and with such an ass it is not possible to sit on two seats."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: mean, money, time, vulgar, work
Q: Why can women play hockey? A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sport, time, women
Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, sex, time, women
Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch? A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.
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has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: time, women
Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science, time
Dave's wife thinks that he is pushing himself too hard, so she takes him to a local strip club for his birthday. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How are ya?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team." They sit and a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that woman to know what you drink." "No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them." A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. "Hi, Davey," she says, "Want your usual lap dance?" Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. His wife starts screaming at him. The cabbie turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real doozy this time, Dave!"
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has 55.39 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: birthday, marriage, time, wife
The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day. Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, political, religious, time
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, geography, technology, time
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