The best time jokes

Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: athlete, time
Yo mama is so stupid that she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate".
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: stupid, time, Yo mama
I have got a new dog. We have trained together for two months and imagine, after these two months I was able to reach him my paw and managed even barking around on command. My dog can be proud of myself.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: dog, time
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. "Where were you? I was worried sick." "It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: bird, couple, sport, time
A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink. "Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something." "Dad you don´t mea-" "Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son. "Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored." "Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dad, old people, time
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: athlete, time
One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away. Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?" "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
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has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: marriage, time
Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
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has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job. I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: computer, kids, navy, technology, time
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, women
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