The best time jokes

One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away. Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?" "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
Vote:
has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: marriage, time
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
Vote:
has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, time, travel, weather
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
Vote:
has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: athlete, time
In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
Vote:
has 50.61 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris, technology, time
Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945. World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945. What a coincidence.
Vote:
has 50.46 % from 280 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, time, war
Q. How do you know if a Asian robbed your house? A. Your HW is done , computer is upgraded, 2 hrs later lil f***er still tryin back off the driveway.
Vote:
has 50.44 % from 216 votes. More jokes about: asian, computer, racist, time
Chuck Norris once saw a video that takes 24 hours to watch... He saw it 3 times a day.
Vote:
has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
Vote:
has 50.22 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, time
Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday... The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
Vote:
has 50.00 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, death, fish, time
Chuck Norris kills time in his spare time.
Vote:
has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
<<<38394041
More jokes →
Page 38 of 53.