The best time jokes

Chuck Norris beat the light speed by 2 hours and 23 minutes.
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest? I don't know he is still busy.
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, time
A preacher was giving a sermon to a full church when all of a sudden the devil appeared. He was menacing and threatening and the entire congregation started to flee the church except for one old man. When the church was empty the devil went up to the man and asked "aren’t you afraid of me, I’m evil incarnate, the most horrific being in the universe and will most likely torture you!" The man replied "You don’t scare me, I’ve been married to your sister for 35 years."
has 54.44 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: age, church, marriage, time
A couple had been married for 30 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday. During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each. The wife said, "We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.
has 54.38 % from 259 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, husband, marriage, time
What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time.
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, men, time
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.
has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
has 54.09 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, viagra
A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
has 53.30 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, time
Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science, time
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