The best time jokes

I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, fitness, gym, time
Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science, time
When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about. I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old. We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes. I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, time, viagra, wife
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch. He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, geography, technology, time
Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945. World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945. What a coincidence.
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has 55.01 % from 251 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, time, war
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. "Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" asked the instructor. "Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: golf, sport, time, women
May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean. The next day, the Nazis surrendered...
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, time, travel
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, elephant, time
Q: What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance? A: A late night.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: accountant, time
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