The best time jokes

Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes? A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps. Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, kids, time, weather
Little Johnny was watching TV with his mother. Johnny: "Why is this tampon commercial so long?" Mother: "This is my favorite show called 90210." Johnny: ...
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has 45.27 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: communication, kids, little Johnny, time
Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful. As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years." Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."
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has 45.27 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, school, sex, time
An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife, "If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" One day, the man abruptly dies. After the burial, the wife goes straight to the local bar and begins to party. Her friends ask if she isn't worried about her husband digging himself out of the grave. The wife smiles, "Let the old bugger dig. I had him buried upside down!"
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: bar, life, marriage, time, wife
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
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has 44.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, time
Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden? A month later he was picking his teeth.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: dentist, time
Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Granny congratulates Johny to his birthday and tells him: "May you live so many years, how many steps you made to the church during these years!" Suddenly appears the Death and tells Johny: "Have you heard your Granny's wish? So, pack up your suitcases, tomorrow you'll finally go with me, mac! Those 4 steps will not save ya!"
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has 44.47 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, death, little Johnny, time
The manager of the liquor store gets a phone call at 8 pm. "At what time do you open tomorrow?" asked the caller. "At nine," he answered. The phone rings at midnight "What time do you open ... in the morning?" "At nine". The phone rings at 4 in the morning "Whatt tim do ya openn in the mornin?" "I told you before at nine". "Imm just inn aa hury cause i got locked in tha stor las nite."
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, phone, time
How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70's? The guys' schlongs have sideburns!
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, time
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