The best time jokes

I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning." "What is she doing?", the pal asks. "Waiting for me to get home."
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has 54.80 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: marriage, time, wife
A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink. "Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something." "Dad you don´t mea-" "Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son. "Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored." "Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dad, old people, time
Chuck Norris beat the light speed by 2 hours and 23 minutes.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time, travel
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport, time
Q: What's the difference between killing time and killing niggers? A: You can only kill so much time.
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has 54.41 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, time
Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
What's at the end of Moby Dick? A whale of a time.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
A couple had been married for 30 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday. During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each. The wife said, "We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.
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has 54.22 % from 258 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, husband, marriage, time
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