The best time jokes

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: time, wife, women
How can you tell if a porno was made in the 70's? The guys' schlongs have sideburns!
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, time
A medical student is driving home on a narrow country road in the middle of the night after his shift in the hospital. The weather is terrible. It's raining cats and dogs. Suddenly a motorbike is screaming by with very high speed. "Jesus Crhist! What an idiot! He will crash if he doesn't slow down!" A few minutes later he spotted in his headlights on the side of the road the torn up motorbike against a big tree. He stopped and quickly jumped out of his car to see in he can give first aid. But it's to late. The biker is already dead. He looked around if there is anyone around. Nobody to see. The student thouhgt "This is the oppertunity to finally obtain a real human eye!" He always carryrna spoon and a glass eye in his pocket for an opperunity like this. He quickly removes the left eye and places the glass eye in the socket. One quick look around and he jumps in his car and races off. The next morning when he wakes up he turned on the tv and watches the news. It said: "Biker found dead on country road with 2 glass eyes."
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has 47.24 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: doctor, hospital, school, time, travel
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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has 46.97 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dad, sex, time
Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful. As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years." Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."
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has 46.97 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, school, sex, time
Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
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has 46.90 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher, technology, time
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, health, time
Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
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has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, time
Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, time
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