The best time jokes

Yo' Mama is so stupid, when her boss told her to take her ugly ass home, she came back 10 minutes later without her ass.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: management, stupid, time, ugly, Yo mama
The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, time
The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, money, religious, time
The manager of the liquor store gets a phone call at 8 pm. "At what time do you open tomorrow?" asked the caller. "At nine," he answered. The phone rings at midnight "What time do you open ... in the morning?" "At nine". The phone rings at 4 in the morning "Whatt tim do ya openn in the mornin?" "I told you before at nine". "Imm just inn aa hury cause i got locked in tha stor las nite."
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, phone, time
What time is it when Chuck Norris knocks on your door? Too Late!
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has 42.00 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself. Now he has provoked the event 2012.
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day. Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.
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has 41.89 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life, political, religious, time
Chuck Norris once raced light. He is still waiting for it to catch up.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousn ess or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde, horse, time
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