Hide an alarm clock in someone's bedroom and set it for 3:00 a.m.
Vote:
Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful.
As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years."
Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."
What time is it when Chuck Norris knocks on your door?
Too Late!
Vote:
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Vote:
Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?
A month later he was picking his teeth.
Q: Why can women play hockey?
A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.
The manager of the liquor store gets a phone call at 8 pm.
"At what time do you open tomorrow?" asked the caller.
"At nine," he answered. The phone rings at midnight
"What time do you open ... in the morning?" "At nine".
The phone rings at 4 in the morning "Whatt tim do ya openn in the mornin?"
"I told you before at nine".
"Imm just inn aa hury cause i got locked in tha stor las nite."
Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.
Vote:
A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself.
Now he has provoked the event 2012.
Vote:
Q: What does a blond man do at 03.00 in the night naked at the balcony?
A: The blond girl told him to come outside