The best time jokes

In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science, time
The world ends on December 21st, 2012. Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck. Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal. Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on. All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week. The situation works wonderfully for five years. When the woman suddenly dies... The first week after wasn't too bad. The second week was geting sort of bad. The third week was getting pretty bad. The fourth week was really bad. The fifth week was horrible! By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
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has 38.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: desert island, disgusting, marriage, time, women
Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared. These are known as black holes.
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has 37.36 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science, time
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
Chuck Norris once slapped a man into next week. The man was missing for four and a half years.
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
An old man tells his psychiatrist that he is already very old and he has committed during his life many sins. The psychiatrist wanted to help him, so he has asked him: "And how long are you with your wife?" The man answered: "45 years." The psychiatrist said: "Don´t have the fear, because after your death you will be surely added to the sufferers, sleep well."
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, marriage, old people, time
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, game, science, time
Yo' Mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to cook instant rice.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, stupid, time, Yo mama
"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?" "Sure, why do you ask." "I was going to offer you some toast." "How kind of... I'll accept." "Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger." "You're right about that!" "Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"
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has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, time
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