The best time jokes

Q: What's the difference between killing time and killing niggers? A: You can only kill so much time.
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has 39.89 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, time
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde, game, science, time
Why does a man like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: love, men, time
A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, time
Yo momma's so fat; she's in two time zones at the same time!
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: insulting, time, Yo mama
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.
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has 38.99 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
A hippie walks on a bus and sees a nun. Being the straight forward kind of guy he is, he says "Hey baby, want to have sex?" The nun says "God no!" so she gets off the bus angry. When the hippie is about to get off the bus, the bus driver asks him "Hey man. you see that graveyard across the street?" The hippie go's "yeah I see it, what about it?" "well every Tuesday night at 8:30. the nun go's to the top of the hill to pray. If you dress up as a ghost, and tell her to have sex with you, she'll have too" The hippie replied "sweet!" So Tuesday night comes and the hippie has a ghost costume, 8:30 comes and here comes the nun. The hippie pops out and says "I am the ghost of a man buried here, and I command you to have sex with me!" The nun go's "Well... ok, but I have a virgins aspect so it has to be oral" So the nun and the hippie have oral sex and the hippie runs away and says "Ha, ha I was actually the hippie" and the nun said "Ha, ha I'm actually the bus driver!"
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has 38.63 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: gay, sex, time
Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything.
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has 38.49 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, time, Yo mama
They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn't been talking to each other. Instead, they were giving each other written notes. One evening he gave her a paper where it said: "Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am." The next morning he woke up and saw that it was 9 o'clock. Naturally he got very angry, but as he turned around he found a note on his pillow saying: "Wake up, it's 6 o'clock!"
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: marriage, time
What are Women Really Thinking? So many men, so few who can afford me. Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares? And your point is? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage, money, time
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