If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts.
I'm thinking maybe homicide.
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Q: What's the difference between killing time and killing niggers?
A: You can only kill so much time.
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Why does a man like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
Yo momma's so fat; she's in two time zones at the same time!
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past.
He has never made any mistakes.
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What does a nigger do after sex?
25 years to life.
They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn't been talking to each other.
Instead, they were giving each other written notes.
One evening he gave her a paper where it said:
"Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am."
The next morning he woke up and saw that it was 9 o'clock.
Naturally he got very angry, but as he turned around he found a note on his pillow saying:
"Wake up, it's 6 o'clock!"
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris.
The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
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The world ends on December 21st, 2012.
Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
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Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything.