One day a man got on the bus and saw a nun. He started to have sexual Thoughts about her and tried to stop but she looked so good that he couldn't Stop. So once she got off the bus the man asked the bus driver if he knew Where she was going. The bus driver said to meet the nun at the church at 8:0op.m dressed like jesus. He went there dressed like jesus. This Surprised the nun and she asked him what she needed to do and he said have anal sex with him. Afterwards, the man said I have a confession to make and he told her he wasn't jesus but the man on the bus. The nun then said she had a confession also. She was the busdriver..
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
Q: How do you know if your baby is dead? A: Your 3-year-old daughter has put on allot of weight in the last day or two.
Q: How long does it take a black lady to shit? A: About 9 months.
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.