Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly.
Finally it creaks to a halt.
A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.
"What's going on?" she yells out the window.
"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.
Within five minutes, however, it stops again.
The woman sees the same conductor walk again.
She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
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I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4.
He can now multi task and use face time.
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God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.
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What is a frogs favorite time?
Leap Year!
Chuck Norris made time wait.
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