The best time jokes

Once Chuck Norris went back in time and kicked a ball. When it landed it wiped out the dinosaurs.
has 35.01 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dinosaur, time, travel
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"
has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, time, travel
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
has 34.19 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, cat, disgusting, time
Q: How do you know if your baby is dead? A: Your 3-year-old daughter has put on allot of weight in the last day or two.
has 33.93 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: dead baby, morbid, time
Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
has 33.74 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science, time
People say that time heals all wounds. They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
has 33.70 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, health, time
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, time
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone, time
Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
has 33.24 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, college, graduation, time
One day a man got on the bus and saw a nun. He started to have sexual Thoughts about her and tried to stop but she looked so good that he couldn't Stop. So once she got off the bus the man asked the bus driver if he knew Where she was going. The bus driver said to meet the nun at the church at 8:0op.m dressed like jesus. He went there dressed like jesus. This Surprised the nun and she asked him what she needed to do and he said have anal sex with him. Afterwards, the man said I have a confession to make and he told her he wasn't jesus but the man on the bus. The nun then said she had a confession also. She was the busdriver..
has 33.24 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: god, sex, time
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