The best time jokes

A lecturer who was drunk walked in a class. Ater few minutes he wanted to urinate, he ran out and open a zip slowly, so that he may urinate. After urinating, that's when he realized that the zip he opened was for a jacket.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drunk, school, stupid, time
Fishing in a frozen lake It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer. "Son" he said, "I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?" The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm." "What was that?" the old man asked. Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying." The boy spat the bait into his hand and said... "You have to keep the worms warm!"
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: fish, sport, time, winter
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousn ess or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, horse, time
Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, time
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone, time
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when her boss told her to take her ugly ass home, she came back 10 minutes later without her ass.
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: management, stupid, time, ugly, Yo mama
Q: Why can women play hockey? A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sport, time, women
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, fat, technology, time, Yo mama
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men, sport, technology, time
God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.
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has 42.06 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god, time
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