In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars.
An owl enters a psychologist's office.
The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?"
The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night."
The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy.
The next night, a cat comes in.
He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?"
The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy.
The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl.
The cat is told to wait outside.
He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address!
During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in.
The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl.
The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining,
"I was sent to deliver him."
Chuck Norris made time wait.
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Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Awwww, kids. They blow up so fast...
Get it, kids grow up so fast.
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God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.
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May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean.
The next day, the Nazis surrendered...
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Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
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