Chuck Norris made time wait.
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Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
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Q: How do you know if your baby is dead?
A: Your 3-year-old daughter has put on allot of weight in the last day or two.
People say that time heals all wounds.
They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
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"Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones!"
"Johny, please, tell us, what do you do the whole day, so?"
"So, in the morning I cut the wood, sometimes with both hands, 5 minutes a day I play the guitar, to tell the truth. And in the afternoon I go to my garden to water the flowers. The lilies of the valleys and may-flowers I water most likely. Yes, they are really cute. Then I tear the leaflets to find out if the neighbor (her husband is not at home) loves me or not. The last time it came out that she loves me, fuck."
May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean.
The next day, the Nazis surrendered...
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Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
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In my village, it is not usual, ordinary, even normal that somebody would go to work.
Even though there is one person in our village who goes to work on a regular basis.
In the morning when he goes to work the whole village accompanies him, men, women, children, grannies and grandpas and in the evening when he goes back from work the whole village welcomes him back.
We all are smiling at him and we are waving at him with the bunches of purple lilac flowers for example during this period of time, April, May.
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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