The best Valentines day jokes

Q: What did the valentines day card say to the stamp? A: Stick with me and you'll go places.
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: communication, travel, Valentines day
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship, time, Valentines day
Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons." Boy: "Really?" Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!"
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: health, medical, Valentines day
The most effective way to remember to buy something to your wife for St. Valentine's Day is... to forget it once!
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: memory, Valentines day, wife
Two friends talk: "Hi, what are you doing?" "Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card." "Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?" "No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."
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has 64.09 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, Valentines day
Q: What do you call a very small valentine? A: A valen-tiny!
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, Valentines day
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. "What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."
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has 59.08 % from 285 votes. More jokes about: marriage, romantic, Valentines day
It was Valentine's day and Jim and Danielle's first date. They sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start. The screen finally lit up with a flashy advertisement for the cinema's concession stand. Jim and Danielle realised that there was no sound. The film began but the silence continued. Suddenly, out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd loudly shouted, "Okay, who's got the remote control?"
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has 58.87 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dating, technology, Valentines day
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, Valentines day
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.   After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Happy Valentine's Day.
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has 55.57 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: marriage, relationship, Valentines day
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