Joke #13523

Q: What do you call a very small valentine? A: A valen-tiny!
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, Valentines day

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What did the valentines day card say to the stamp? A: Stick with me and you'll go places.
Vote:
has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, travel, Valentines day
My wife said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before." So I said, "Try the kitchen!"
Vote:
has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, communication, marriage, mean, travel
An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."
Vote:
has 48.11 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: drug, sex, Valentines day
Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of him."
Vote:
has 68.72 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: black humor, love, navy, religious, Valentines day
There were these two blonds and they locked their keys in their car. The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?" The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in." The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?" The other one answered," No, people will think we're too stupid to use the coat hanger." The other one said, "Well we better think of something quick because it's starting to rain and the sunroof is open."
Vote:
has 82.12 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, stupid, weather
Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's? Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you. Boy Monster: Is it still beating?
Vote:
has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, Valentines day
[first day as a pilot] Control tower: What's your location? Me: I'm in the cockpit. Control tower: I mean where is the airplane? Me: Mainly behind me.
Vote:
has 68.00 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: communication, travel, work
Calling for information about one of my credit cards, I got the following recorded prompt: "Please enter your account number as it appears on your card or statement." I did as instructed, and the system said, "Please enter your five-digit ZIP code." After I put that in, I got a third message: "If you would like your information in English, press one."
Vote:
has 75.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, phone
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. "What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."
Vote:
has 58.81 % from 283 votes. More jokes about: marriage, romantic, Valentines day
"Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, or I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you." "Oh, dear... I love you too... but, what was that you said about Martin?"
Vote:
has 74.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, mean, money, Valentines day