Q: What do you call a very small valentine?
A: A valen-tiny!
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Q: What did the valentines day card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and you'll go places.
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Look up "rib" in the dictionary and it says "To vex, irritate or annoy."
Look up "rib" in the Bible and it says "Woman."
Coincidence?
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An evening of Valentine's Day.
A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!"
"Sorry, we are sold out..."
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Knock-knock.
Who is there?
Stopwatch.
Stopwatch who?
Stopwatch you're doing and have a happy Valentines Day!
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Johny has lately written a short email to his brother while asking him only one question in this email:
Hi brother, I am writing to you, I only would like to know, tell me:
How is your fianceé?
The Johny´s brother reply was only:
Hi John, her brother is doing well.
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Q: What goes "oom... oom"?
A: A cow walking backward!
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Hallmark would make "Sorry I don't remember your name" cards.
If your girlfriend really needs to talk to you during the game, she'll appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time," would complete a break up.
Birth control would come in ale or lager.
Instead of an engagement ring, you could surprise your fiance with a giant "You're #1!" foam hand.
Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur in leap years.
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A man is in a mall and sees a clothes store.
He sees a magnificent, brand new jacket in the shop window and decides he shall try it on and buy it.
So he walks into the shop and asks an employee: "Excuse me sir."
"How can I help you" the employee replies.
"Could I by any chance try on that jacket in your shop window?"
The employee looks at him and says "No you shall not you are to try it on in the changing rooms like everybody else!"
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"Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, or I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you."
"Oh, dear... I love you too... but, what was that you said about Martin?"
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
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