The best vulgar jokes

Man walks into a bar and sits next to another customer. Bartender comes over and says to the new customer, "what can I get you?" Customer says "bourbon and coke." Bartender looks at first customer and says another "beer Jackass?" He says nods his head yes. 10 minutes later bartender comes back to check to see if customer wants another bourbon and coke and customer says "sure." Bartender looks at first customer and says "another beer Jackass?" And customer nods yes. Bourbon and coke customer says to beer customer, "Man you are the customer, don't le t that bartender talk to you like that." Beer customer says "it's ok he al, he al, He always calls me that!"
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, communication, customer service, vulgar
Q: What do you call that useless piece of skin around a vagina? A: A woman.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, vulgar, women
May: "Why did you slap me?!" Michael: "I didn't slap your face! I High fived it!" May: "I'm going to tell mom on you when we go to the sea side!" Micheal: "Uh, Shore you will." May: "Don't be such a beach."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, vulgar
Yo mama's so fat, that her MySpace has no space.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, insulting, internet, vulgar, Yo mama
A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground. The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at. The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing. They father replies that the two spiders are having sex. It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other. The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg. The father says that they're both daddy long legs. The son stomps on them, killing them. The father asks why he did that. The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, family, sex, vulgar
Q: What is the difference between a dogs ass and liberals? A: Nancy Pelosi won't kiss a dogs ass!
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: democrat, dog, political, vulgar
Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut.
Vote: has 62.04 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: poems, sex, vulgar, weed
Q: Why was the guitar teacher arrested? A: For fingering a minor.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: music, prison, teacher, vulgar
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, time, vulgar
Yo mama so short when she smokes weed, she cant even get high.
Vote: has 60.41 % from 70 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, vulgar, weed, Yo mama