The best vulgar jokes

What did the flower say to be the bee? "Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, vulgar
Man walks into a bar and sits next to another customer. Bartender comes over and says to the new customer, "what can I get you?" Customer says "bourbon and coke." Bartender looks at first customer and says another "beer Jackass?" He says nods his head yes. 10 minutes later bartender comes back to check to see if customer wants another bourbon and coke and customer says "sure." Bartender looks at first customer and says "another beer Jackass?" And customer nods yes. Bourbon and coke customer says to beer customer, "Man you are the customer, don't le t that bartender talk to you like that." Beer customer says "it's ok he al, he al, He always calls me that!"
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, communication, customer service, vulgar
During a conversation regarding new potential Johny's job: "Johny, tell us and what is your weak feature?" Johny: "Openness!" Interviewer: "But the openness isn't a weak feature!" Johny: "Ok, but I fuck what you think!"
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, little Johnny, vulgar, work
Yo mama so fat people used her as a tramp.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, vulgar, Yo mama
A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables." The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer." The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, vulgar, work
NOTE: This joke is only for those who recently had a brain transplant. DO NOT read ahead unless you don't mind being offended. You're still reading this, aren't you, asshole?
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, vulgar
Little Johnny, "Why are you so fat?" Little Billy, "Cause Every time I fuck ur mom she gives me a doughnut."
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has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?" The student replies "Not enough for fucking lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got damn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: math, money, student, teacher, vulgar
A man has visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future. The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said: "you will be not rich because you have a very small ass and with such an ass it is not possible to sit on two seats."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: mean, money, time, vulgar, work
Little Johnny comes home from school, and his mom asks: "Johnny, how did it go with your exam? Was written or oral?" And Johnny says: "Mom, I think it was anal... 'Cuz it went like shit!"
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, little Johnny, school, vulgar
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