The best vulgar jokes

A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables." The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer." The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, vulgar, work
The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?" The student replies "Not enough for fucking lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got damn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: math, money, student, teacher, vulgar
In an African city, there was a club that all its members had long dicks. On the other day, an European guy went to register his name in that club. When he knocked the doorkeeper asked the guy's penis length the guy said: "Mine is 10 inches long" The caretaker appeared at the door and begun laughing: "Here isn't a suitable place for you." The porter said, "Look at me I 've turned three time my dick around my waist so I'm only a caretaker and you by a baby dick."
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has 51.08 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, geography, vulgar
Yo momma is so old that her titties sag all the way to hell!
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: age, insulting, vulgar, Yo mama
Q: Why are crippled people always picked on? A: Because they can't stand up for themselves.
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: black people, health, vulgar
A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground. The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at. The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing. They father replies that the two spiders are having sex. It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other. The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg. The father says that they're both daddy long legs. The son stomps on them, killing them. The father asks why he did that. The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."
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has 49.12 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, sex, vulgar
Yo mama's so fat when she is having sex, her partner doesen't know if it's in her butt or her boobs.
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has 48.69 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
Q: Do you know what a Mexican motorcycle sounds like? A: Cavrone puta puta puta.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, mexican, vulgar
Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him: "Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?" Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."
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has 47.98 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: black humor, little Johnny, math, money, vulgar
Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
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