Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
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Chuck Norris can strike the same lightning twice.
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I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains.
The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains.
When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?"
Kelly was standing in front of Cohan’s Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street.
He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk.
Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it!"
"I know, you idiot!" said the man. "I was pushing it!"
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
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Chuck Norris can blow the answers away from the wind.
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Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
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Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can paint the rainbow... with black.
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Yo mama so fat she the one that caused global warming when she farted.