Yo momma’s so stupid, when I told her it was chilly outside she ran and got a bowl.
Chuck Norris can strike the same lightning twice.
McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?" Kelly was standing in front of Cohan’s Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it!" "I know, you idiot!" said the man. "I was pushing it!"
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
Chuck Norris can blow the answers away from the wind.
Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
Every time Chuck Norris farts a hurricane forms.
Chuck Norris can paint the rainbow... with black.