The best weather jokes

That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, weather
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, kids, weather
There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor. A mexican family lives on the second floor. A nigger family lives on the botom floor. At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived? The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.
Vote: has 55.88 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, racist, school, weather
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, weather
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, love, weather
McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?" Kelly was standing in front of Cohan’s Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it!" "I know, you idiot!" said the man. "I was pushing it!"
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, life, weather, wife
There were three women who always hung their laundry out in the backyard. Two of the women noticed Sophie never had her laundry out on days that it rained. One day, they were all out in the backyard putting their clothes on the line when one of the women said to Sophie, "How come when it rains, your laundry is never out?" "Well," said Sophie, "when I wake up in the morning, I look over at Paul. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know I can hang out the wash. If his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the wash." "What if it is pointed straight up?" asked one of the women. "On a day like that, I don't bother with the laundry."
Vote: has 53.37 % from 127 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, weather
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the “good old days.” Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, “Roy, aren’t you and your bride celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon?” “Yup, we sure are,” Roy replied. “Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?” another man asked. The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, “For our twenty-fifth anniversary, I took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our fiftieth, I’ll go down there and get her.”
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, food, old people, weather
Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common? A: They all get the house.
Vote: has 52.59 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, weather, women
Three old guys are out walking. First one says, “Windy, isn’t it?” Second one says, “No, its Thursday!” Third one says, “So am I. Let’s go get a beer.”
Vote: has 51.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, old people, weather