The best jokes about women

Two programmers after work, talking in a pub: "You will never believe me when I tell you what happened to me yesterday. I met a very nice blonde in a bar." - And what did you do ? "I invited her to my place, we had some drinks and then the girl asked me to undress her." "Are you kidding me ? And what did you do then?" "I got her blouse and her dress off and then i got her to sit on my office, right next to my new laptop." "Oh, you got a new laptop. What model and what are its specifications?"
Vote: has 77.32 % from 157 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, IT, office, programmer, women
Scientists have finally discovered what is wrong with the female brain. On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left.
Vote: has 77.29 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk." Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
Vote: has 77.20 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, mean, party, ugly, women
A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce." On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce." The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."
Vote: has 77.20 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, money, women
A woman yells to a blonde walking along a river, "How do I get on the other side!?" The blonde says, "You are on the other side!"
Vote: has 76.98 % from 184 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, women
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, men, winter, women
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, men, women
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: "TWO PROSTITUTES $50.00." A policeman stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop them?" "Well, that's a little different," the cop smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion." The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: "TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER $50.00."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, money, prison, women
Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common? A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women
A masked man walks into a bank and holds it up at gunpoint to rob the bank. In the process of robbing the bank, his mask fell off. He quickly put it back on his face and asked the teller directly ahead of him if she saw his face. She admitted that she did, so he shot and killed her. He then turned to the teller that was beside the one her just killed and asked if she had also seen his face. She said that she did and he shot and killed her too. He then turned to a man, a customer who just happened to be in the bank when the robbery was taking place. The robber asked the customer if he had seen his face. The customer replied, “No, but I’m pretty sure my wife did.”
Vote: has 76.77 % from 158 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, wife, women