The best jokes about women

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch.
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has 77.60 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: How are women and tornadoes alike? A: They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they go.
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has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: mean, weather, women
Q: What Valentine's Day candy is best to give a girl? A: Her-She Kisses.
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has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: food, Valentines day, women
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." The women start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thin." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here have it long and thin." Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thick." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here have it long and thick." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
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has 77.40 % from 392 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, sex, women
I was drinking my coffee in a coffeehouse when a beautiful girl came near my table and asked me: "Are you alone?" So I responded: "It's a long time that I'm alone." "So do you mind me to take this chair?" said the girl. I fainted...
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has 77.36 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, relationship, single, women
A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar the friends obviously ask why he is late and he responds: "Wow, you won't believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and suddenly I see a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks." The friends are curious and ask: "Well, what happened next?" The guy says: "Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her." The friends are cheering and one friend asks: "Soo... did you get any head?" The guy says: "No, I couldn't find it..."
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has 77.33 % from 147 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, morbid, sex, women
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
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has 77.23 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: life, light bulb, women
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
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has 77.23 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
"If women ruled the world," said my wife, "there'd be no wars."  "That's true," I replied. "Wars require strategy and logic."
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has 76.99 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: war, wife, women
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
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has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, women
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