The best jokes about women

Q: What Valentine's Day candy is best to give a girl? A: Her-She Kisses.
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has 76.80 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: food, Valentines day, women
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
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has 76.80 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: divorce, mean, men, money, women
Husband: "Right now, for this Women's Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!" Wife: "Oh dear, I will miss you!"
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has 76.68 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: holiday, marriage, mean, women
A Knight was getting ready for the crusade. Ha turned to his friend and told him: "My fiancée is the most beautiful girl in the world and I can't imagine her being with someone else, while I'm gone. You're my best friend and I trust you. Here's the key for her chastity belt. In case I never get back, unlock her and set her free." When the crusade Knights were a mile away from the village, the Knight gets an urgent message: "Mate, You Gave Me The Wrong Key!"
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has 76.54 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: beauty, men, women
An elderly woman went to her doctor, complaining about not being able to hear out of one ear. The doctor then took his penlight, looked in her ear, then took his tweezers, reached in, and pulled something out. After examining the object for a second, he exclaimed, "Well...it seems you inserted a suppository into your ear...". The old lady thought for a second, then responded "Gee...I guess that explains why I can't find my hearing-aid...!".
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has 76.51 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: doctor, old people, women
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
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has 76.49 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, women
"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned."
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has 76.41 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, science, women
A woman yells to a blonde walking along a river, "How do I get on the other side!?" The blonde says, "You are on the other side!"
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has 76.39 % from 203 votes. More jokes about: blonde, women
Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice!
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has 76.27 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: women
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection. The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle." "Do you think it will work?" she asks. "It's worth a try." he says. So, the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this.". "What?" asks the priest, "what happened?". "You gave birth to a child!". "But that's impossible!" says the priest. "I just did the operation," insists the doctor, "It's a miracle! Here's your baby." About fifteen years go by, and the priest realises he must tell his son the truth. One day, he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father." The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?" The priest replies, "I am your mother, the archbishop is your father."
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has 76.19 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: baby, dating, doctor, kids, women
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