The best jokes about women

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women
Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...
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More jokes about: women
Miss DeAngelo was a not-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn’t find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Miss DeAngelo, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the ‘other woman’ in her husband’s life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Miss DeAngelo with a sniff, "but I couldn’t help it." "Couldn’t help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How’s that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."
Vote: has 50.29 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, divorce, marriage, wife, women
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Vote: has 50.17 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women
An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband. When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!" The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
Vote: has 49.76 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, husband, women
Q: How do you know when a women's about to say something smart? A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."
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More jokes about: women
Q: What element is a girl's future best friend? A: Carbon.
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More jokes about: chemistry, friendship, nerd, women
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man." "Wow," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, priest, women
What is a buttress? A female goat.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, women
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, time, women