Q: What do a woman and a bar have in common? A: Liquor in the front, Poker in the back.
Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
Q: What is height of Honesty? A: A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly... On a broomstick. We're flexible like that.
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
A lady went to see a tarot reader woman who'll predict her future: Lady, I'm sorry to inform you that your husband will die in the near future. Don't tell me things that I already know, tell me if there would be an investigation!
Boy will be boys but one day all girls will be women.
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run a few errands and leaves his employee in charge. A woman comes in and wants to purchase a dildo. She looks at the shelf behind the register. "How much for the white one?" "$10." "How much for the black one?" "$20." She buys the white one. A little later , another woman comes in and also wants to buy a dildo. After asking the clerk for prices, she decides on the black one. A third lady comes in for a dildo. She checks the price of the white one , the black one and asks about the plaid one. She makes her purchase and leaves.The proprietor returns and asks how things went. "Great! I sold a white one, a black one, and I got thirty buck for your thermos!"
There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum. Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?" To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips." Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?" "No, but it stops me from licking them!"