The best jokes about women

Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
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has 57.23 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: doctor, military, women
Why is it called PMS? — Because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: women
There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up. He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum. Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?" To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips." Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?" "No, but it stops me from licking them!"
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: church, cowboy, disgusting, horse, women
A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. She’s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?" A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, "I don’t know… why don’t you play your age?" He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Thinking maybe she’d won, he rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?" The operator replies, "I don’t know. She put all her money on 29, and 36 came up. Then she just fainted!"
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: women
Snooki is so short and orange that she works part time as a traffic cone.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: women, work
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: athlete, sex, women
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
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has 56.89 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, women
Q: What is height of Honesty? A: A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: women
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, women
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history. At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
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has 56.78 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, history, mean, women
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